Rest And Relaxation: A Conscious Choice

Rest and relaxation get used interchangeably and confusing them might be why you never truly feel restored.

My concept of rest was simply lying down. Relaxation was always something I never seemed to have time for, and when I did, I was bewildered at how to perform the act. There came a time when I realized that the definition of rest and relaxation was held as a linear idea or concept in my mind and was hardly recognized in my body. This had everything to do with survival mode being switched on — where the nervous system has no communication saying either of these are a possibility because there is threat after threat coming in. There was no time to lay around, and no safety for relaxation to land in my body.

Without realizing it, I had been trying to ‘rest’ in ways my nervous system didn’t recognize as safe — which meant my body never got the full benefit.

I had to regain the understanding of what these two things were for me, so I crawled my way into the “self-love” bubble where I thought explanations might be. They were — but not in the way you’d expect. Instead of skincare brands and spa days, I found myself looking at how consciousness rhymes with the body, and in return, how the body guides the mind.

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When you're ready for rest, but this is the chair

A Personal Understanding

Rest restores energy.

Relaxation releases tension.

When we think of rest, we may not think of cleaning the kitchen or going for a walk — but after doing activities like this, there’s usually a sense of renewal. We feel good about the accomplishment, or about the fresh air and change of scenery. There’s no strenuous output, so the renewal feels wholesome.

On the other hand, lying in bed all day while reworking yesterday’s conversations can technically be rest, but it’s a rest without closure. The mind is still running, looping thoughts, and the nervous system never gets the full signal to reset.

Relaxation is different. It’s not just “not doing” — it’s the act of releasing. This could be soaking in a bath, reading a novel in your favorite chair, a morning or evening yoga session, or sitting quietly so that your breath can naturally deepen.

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What True Rest Feels Like in the Body

• Muscles feel supported without effort.

• Breathing slows and evens out naturally.

• Thoughts may drift but without urgency or analysis.

• The body feels lighter, as though it’s no longer bracing.

What True Relaxation Feels Like in the Body

• Shoulders drop away from the ears.

• The jaw softens and unclenches.

• The breath deepens into the belly.

• The body feels heavier against the surface you’re on, as if it’s melting into it.

Me in survival mode: Look at this empire I built. Also me: One wave and its a goner. | Photo by Bethany

The Bigger Picture

When the nervous system is in survival mode, the body’s entire operating system shifts. The brain’s decision-making centers take a back seat while the more primitive, threat-oriented parts of the brain call the shots. The goal becomes simple: stay alive.

In this state, perception narrows. The mind unconsciously or consciously scans constantly for danger, often overestimating threats and underestimating opportunities. Creative thinking, long-term planning, and integral emotional processing all become harder because the brain is prioritizing speed and safety over exploration and connection. Survival mode doesn’t erase your options — it hides them, labeling them unsafe before you even see them.

Here is what most miss: survival mode can feel normal if it’s been your baseline for a long time. You might believe you’re functioning just fine, but you’re only operating in the small corner of your potential that stress seems as essential.

This is where rest and relaxation are not luxuries — they are critical interventions. They signal safety to the nervous system, allowing it to shift from fight-or-flight into states where the brain and body can repair, integrate, and expand. Rest replenishes your physical and mental reserves; relaxation discharges the tension that keeps you braced for impact. Together, they reopen the perceptual field, letting you see more options, more beauty, and more possibility than survival mode ever would allow.

What your nervous system looks like in survival mode

Building Your Rhythm

If you struggle with rest and relaxation, start with asking your body each day: Do I need renewal or release?

• If renewal is the answer, lean into gentle activity that leaves you feeling energized — a slow walk, stretching, tidying a space, or lying down without a screen. Even for 5 minutes.

• If release is the answer, choose something that invites letting go — a warm shower, a favorite hobby, deep breathing, or moments in nature.

Over time, this daily check-in creates a rhythm your nervous system can trust. That growing trust is the bridge between surviving and thriving. When the body knows it will be cared for, it stops hoarding energy for emergencies and starts investing it in growth, creativity, and connection.

Reflection creates clarity and clarity creates freedom.

The Conscious Shift

This is why I built The Conscious Shift — because understanding the difference between rest and relaxation is only the first step. The real work is retraining your brain-body connection so that safety isn’t a rare state, but your baseline. This framework helps your nervous system expand its capacity, widen its window of tolerance, and make more intentional choices.

In the context of rest and relaxation, The Conscious Shift works by:

1. Recognizing when you’re operating from survival-based patterns.

2. Regulating your body and mind so that true rest and relaxation become possible.

3. Repatterning daily habits so safety and openness become your new default.

Prompts to chew on today:

• What does my body need more right now: renewal or release?

• What is one small thing I can do that signals safety to my body?

• How do I know, in my body, when I’ve truly rested?

• How do I know, in my body, when I’ve truly relaxed?

Your rhythm is yours alone to find — but you don’t have to find it by trial and error. The Conscious Shift offers the tools to move you from surviving to thriving, where rest and relaxation are no longer occasional treats but daily foundations.

We are collectively living in a world where your attention is the new currency. Something as simple as true rest and true relaxation takes a conscious choice to give yourself. Fight for it — because every time you choose it, you teach your nervous system that life is more than survival.

The Conscious Shift is coming soon! If you’re ready to build rest and relaxation into your daily rhythm, sign up for the newsletter and be among the first to begin living life more consciously.

A space that meets you where you are.